In Tai-chi practice there is this skill called “push hands“. Basically you and a partner remain in contact with each other while each player alternately pushes towards your partners center. The practice is to absorb the push and/or redirect the push in useful ways.

Push hands is based on the sequence: listening, following, interrupting, and redirecting.

The primary skill in push hands is listening. This isn’t listening with your ears, it is listening with your body. This is a skill is built from many weeks of practice. To succeed at listening you must quiet your own mind, and be open to feel (listen) to whatever your partner is doing. If you do this successfully you can track your partner 100% and you will always know how they are applying force, and where their center is.

By listening well, you enable following. This is the gentle matching of your force with your partner’s, ideally, if following is done well, your partner will not even be aware that you are doing anything at all. They will continue to move with the illusion that they are in total control.

Once you are listening to, and following your partner closely, you can then choose an appropriate moment to interrupt your partner’s pattern of movement. The goal is to use as little force as possible to redirect what they are doing, and lead them into a new and unexpected direction. The more force your partner is using, the more force you are able to reflect back onto them in your response.

The interruption and its follow through effectively redirect your partners pattern, moving them into one of your choosing. Once you have them in your own pattern, it is easy to bounce, trap or throw them into a nearby painful object.

In push hands this process is practiced many times, until it becomes instinctive for the practitioner.

In NLP, a short therapy may be conducted in a similar manner:

Once again the sequence is: listening, following, interrupting, and redirecting.

You listen to your partner by quieting your mind, and keeping it open to what your partner is doing. Instead of listening for a physical center, you are looking to understand their map of the world, and working to identify their existing behavioral pattern and their desired outcome. In essence you are looking for their emotional center.

You then follow their actions by subtle Mirroring and by using their vocabulary, gestures, and map of the world. This increases their trust in you and builds general rapport.

Once you identify a pattern you wish to change you wait until you see it, then you interrupt it. This can be done through some sudden shock to their system, for instance, a loud noise, or a unexpected gesture. The interruption should momentarily cause your partners pattern to be broken.

Before the old pattern is re-initialized, you have the opportunity to create a new pattern by redirecting your parner to a new behavior at this point.

Rinse and repeat, always replacing the old pattern with the new.

There is a common thread between these two activities, I find it fascinating!